Everybody has the right to be treated with dignity at work. This message is an integral part of the elearning we write on topics like diversity, harassment and bullying.

But the right to dignity, respect and courtesy goes far beyond the workplace, which got us thinking about our behaviour and expectations in day-to-day life. What things do we consider good manners (or at least tolerable) which other people might think are downright rude? And what things do other people do that we find unacceptable?

For example, how do you feel about people who:

• Sit next to you on the bus/train when there are plenty of empty double seats
• Strike up a conversation with you on the bus/train, even though you avoid eye contact and stare pointedly at your phone
• Avoid eye contact and ignore you when you say a friendly ‘Hello’ on the bus/train
• Leave a one seat ‘buffer’ between themselves and a stranger, e.g. in a stadium, so that couples arriving later can’t find two seats together
• Sit right next to you, when the rest of the row is still empty.
• Wear shorts and flip-flops to dinner in a hotel restaurant on holiday, when the dress code says ‘long trousers’
• Dress up like a dog’s dinner just to go for a meal in the hotel on holiday
• Talk through a film at the cinema – or worse, a live theatre performance
• Tut loudly or tell you to ‘shhhh’ when you comment on a film at the cinema
• Spend the entire evening at a concert or other live performance looking at their phone, with the light distracting everyone around them
• Keep looking at the private messages on your phone instead of concentrating on the concert or play

Caution: sweeping generalisations ahead

It all comes down to cultural differences, where ‘culture’ is a set of values shared by a group of people. By ‘group’, we mean people brought together by something they have in common, such as age, race or ethnicity, religion, gender, education, disability or interests.

For example, each generation has its own set of values. Generation Z (people born after 1997) have very different ideals, standards and expectations compared to the so-called ‘Silent’ generation (those born between born between 1926 and 1945). Generation Z have received a lot of media attention recently because of their strong views regarding politics and current affairs. The ‘Silent’ generation, on the other hand, were taught to stay silent and not speak openly about their views on current affairs.

Given these traits, it would seem likely that people from the two generations are likely to clash. However, while a diverse group of British people (a family, say) might enjoy a raging political argument round the dinner table, a similar group from the USA are more likely to avoid contentious issues at mealtimes.

Your ethnicity and where you live or have lived can also contribute to cultural differences. Someone from Winchester is less likely than a Glaswegian to initiate a chat with a total stranger on the bus, for instance.

All of these sweeping generalisations bring us to the conclusion that etiquette, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. It’s entirely possible that we’ve all seriously offended someone from a different culture at some point, without knowing it.